Sunday, January 25, 2015

How I Was Made for Chasing Boys: A Fourth Grader's Story

It was during the first half of the eighties. I just began puberty. Billy Idol was in, Madonna just started, and Sixteen Candles was in the making. I hadn't begun wearing any make-up but I knew I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be liked by everybody. But particularly by this one blond hair blue-eyed boy fictionally named Guido Scardapello. Guido Scardapello was a trouble-maker, a bad boy. He just turned 11 in my fourth grade class but I saw him as a man. He was taller than all the other boys. He was cocky, obnoxious, but playful. I watched him all the time. I told my mother and friends all about Guido, Guido, Guido. I met him in the third grade, but the hormones didn't start kicking in until a year later. During the winter around January, I kept looking at him when we lined up to go to the school buses at the end of the day. He was wearing a black ski mask. Earlier, I was inspired by a jersey he wore. On the front it said something about Disco being dead and Rock n' Roll being in. On the back of the shirt, it said "The Fly." So in addition, another reason I liked him was his charisma. So going back to being in line, I kept staring at him while he was mouthing off about something and then caught me staring at him. He came up and hit me on the shoulder, "Hey, stop looking at me! You're UGLY!" I remember my face heating up and I nearly teared. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. He was cruel. Well, eventually I got over it. I saw the boy every day. Miss Anzelone, my teacher always condescended him in front of the class. She'd get into one of her big lectures about pride. "Guido does not have any pride. So n' So does." It only turned me on. A boy with no pride. So one day either in the spring or fall we were outside at recess. Chase was the game. So it was either the boys chasing girls or girls chasing boys theme of that day. I was happy to hear that it was girls chasing the boys. We were on monkey bars and the boys would jump at us. I remember jumping down and running after any random boy. Then I saw Guido. Suddenly I felt a rush--so good that I began to have so much energy. As I took my first steps towards Guido he began to run. I couldn't remember if he had a smile on his face, but boy, I was feeling an unbelievable high. For the first time, it was a high so pleasurable that I didn't want it to end. I claimed, and owned the feeling. And I ran after him as if he were my territory. He was the prize. And I would feel like on top if I ever caught him. I couldn't remember if I tagged or grabbed him that day in 1983, but it was a foreshadowing event that had set my calling for the rest of my life. Chasing boys was fun. Chasing boys made me high. Boys chased me, who cared? That was boring. I wanted to be the pursuer, the chaser, the hunter. He could keep playing hard to get, but with my special skills, one day, I will get him to surrender. Well, that's all for now. Coming from a woman of the 21st century. The days of only men chasing women in my book are long gone...

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