GRAPEFRUIT GRIPES

With the angst of the economy, Afghanistan and all the social injustice that surrounds us, if you’re not in the mood to hear about trivial petty problems, do not read any further. Yes, I am going to write about something so petty that some readers won’t be able to stand it. But for those of you in the mood to read about mundane tasks, this one’s for you. I am going to talk about cutting grapefruit. I don’t like to cut grapefruit or any fruit. It’s an inconvenience. I dread it. Hence, this frustration could have an impact on my eating habits of fruit vs. bad sinful cookies for dessert. Does this make me sound lazy? Sure. I won’t deny that. Fruit is good for you, especially a grapefruit at breakfast time, which I will mostly focus on for this blog. I love to be in a cafeteria and collect already precut grapefruit with a maraschino cherry on top. Mmmm! But when I wake up, alone in my apartment, that lone grapefruit in my fridge sitting for days calls to me, feeding into my guilt. If I only had to cut the grapefruit in half, hey, no problem. But this is a fruit that needs elaborate cutting . Cutting it in half in my teeny weenie kitchen, I experience the first aggravation as juice spills out onto the counter. The next step, cutting around the outer edge of the pulp. In order to spoon the wedges, you must cut around each triangle of pulp. This is the nastiest part. I am no fan of handling sharp knives. I had to cut a persimmon once and had an accident. It’s real dangerous holding those little pieces that the knife slit across my finger. Right then, I vowed that I would do whatever it takes to find someone to cut my fruit for me. If I never had to cut fruit again, I’d be eating it five times as much as I do now. Not all grocery stores have pre-cut grapefruit and if so, it costs more money. The labor of cutting makes a difference. After my knife accident with the persimmon I said to myself, “If I ever get rich, I will hire a maid to cut all my fruit. Especially grapefruit. And I always want that jolly rewarding maraschino cherry on top!” For the time being, let Mommy do it!