tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77787580533935104292024-02-18T17:48:16.332-08:00Nona SebastianGet to know an author who adds a raunchy side to romance!Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-77416735214137513202015-04-26T23:36:00.000-07:002015-04-26T23:36:03.645-07:00He’s Just Not That Into You—A no-excuses Truth to (Valuing Women To Their "Proper Place" with dating Gender Inequality<blockquote>I’ll tell you one thing. If I did not tell a certain man how I feel and nothing ever evolved I would feel like the BIGGEST SCHMUK! (Not only would I feel like one, but actually become a schmuk!)</blockquote>
There is so much I have to say about this book that my blog readers will get tired if I put it all in one blog. So I will do it chapter by chapter.
CHAPTER ONE: He’s Not That Into You if He’s Not Asking You Out.
Nona’s Rating: TRIPLE THUMBS DOWN.
I heard of the book when I was one of the million viewers of Sex and the City show. When Miranda gave two random girls a gospel of how the guy was not into them after overhearing their conversation, the girls whispered, “What a bitch.”
My take? Yeah, what a bitch. The male character in Sex and the City “Jack Berger,” was the advocate, heroically saying to Charlotte and the rest, “He’s just not that into you.” You remember how Jack Berger left the show, right? He left a post-it note breaking up with Carrie Bradshaw. Brave man!
What I think of the author Greg Behrendt? Smart, clever, sarcastic, humorous, and too much of a little boy to deal with a woman who decides to take charge of initiating with a man.
Yes, chapter one says it all. It made me throw the book toward the other chair in the library. If I make the first move, I’m not doing heavy lifting. I am a proud feminist who loves flirting with men, dressing sensual, and expressing interest. I won’t apologize for asking men out or confessing my feelings. I feel free, happy and liberated to put the moves on the opposite sex. If people don’t like it, that’s their problem. <blockquote>No, I wasn’t neglected growing up. I was born this way.</blockquote>
<blockquote>I am not desperate. It doesn’t mean I’m a slut. Grow up, people!</blockquote>
There are humans (men, women, transgender) who enjoy the thrill of the chase. Some humans want to be chased. (men, women, transgender). There are no gender roles. That’s Dog Crap. It’s each individual’s personality traits that will determine their role in the dating game.
The men I asked out were taken aback but admitted I was brave and even admired me. Yes, and some said no. Did I go in the bathroom to cut myself with a razor? No. <blockquote>If women think they can handle men’s jobs in the world, they can handle rejection just like men of centuries had to endure when being put in the role of having to ask a woman out.</blockquote>
What Greg says on page 16 – 17: “Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one.” (Me: poor woman on that!) “We know there was a sexual revolution (We loved it.) We know women are capable of running governments, heading multinational corporations, and raising loving children—sometimes all at the same time. That, however, doesn’t make men different.”
<blockquote>My response? We women are not prizes. We women are not prey. </blockquote>This is objectifying women. It sounds like the author is making a desperate attempt to return to roles of men and women back to the 1950s. Sure, women can make six-figure incomes but they have to be a prize for men to work for? Does this fit with any of you who have a brain???
At the end of the chapter Greg points out that “You are Good Enough to Be Asked Out.”
This sentence is pure manipulation and geared toward women. <blockquote>Anyone is good enough to be asked out if they are a great person! </blockquote>Women have been brainwashed to think that the only way they can be “valued” in the dating world is having THE MAN making the first move or having THE MAN doing all or most of the work. Have you ever read that nightmarish book, “The Rules?” Do you know that some men are going on “strike” for this? Not all men agree. Do you hear people say, “If the agency or company is interested, they will call you back.” Well, if they don’t call me back, I am told, as a woman, to follow up, or PURSUE the job. So it seems like that kind of pursuing is “allowed” for women to do ‘cause, after all it’s a job. But to follow up on a guy? Shame! Shame!
For centuries, women have been told that they will only be valued if they wait until they are married to have sex. Fortunately the mainstream media is now saying otherwise. So I think it’s very pathetic to have anyone buy into this dogmatic crap that women deserve to only be asked out and not the other way around. There is no rule here. Some people are shy. Many men online will drop a note with a “Hi.” It says they want to know me but if they say anymore they will risk rejection. They want to wait for me to say “Hi,” back or hopefully for me to say more.
Another sentence preached by Greg at the end of chapter one: “Just because you like to lead doesn’t mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.”
Hmm. I wonder what people said when women were fighting for the right to vote. I think it was that they were too emotional to make an objective decision on a candidate based on their biology???
Women, listen to me VERY CAREFULLY. This sentence about “liking to lead” preached by Greg is a PARALLEL of that argument. This is a similar attitude reflecting back about women not being equipped to fight in a war or become president. BIOLOGY was used to justify this attitude. Saying we are too emotional. Too emotional and not STRONG ENOUGH to handle rejection. Now it’s being used again into the uplifting book, “He’s Just Not that Into You.”
So now that BIOLOGY is the magic word, and it's the end to all means, what does that say for the homosexual population? Think, think, people.
And my take women having to WAIT for men to take the lead? It’s said in big CAPS in my eyes:
MALE SUPREMACY. MALE PRIVILEGE. MALE ENTITLEMENT. MALE DOMINANCE.
Sigh.
*Disclaimer*: Men should only work to get me AFTER doing something wrong, or mistreating me. I mean, shouldn’t anyone follow that? And not just in dating but friendships too?
IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE NONA:
A FEW LINKS SUPPORTING MY ARGUMENT:
http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/dating-and-flirting-letting-her-make-first-move
http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/what-do-men-really-think/
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1rm5ct/have_you_had_a_girl_make_the_first_move/
http://psych-your-mind.blogspot.com/2012/06/when-hes-just-not-that-into-you.html
…And if you really like to be scared (to you male-only-be pursuers), check this!
http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/female-puas.html
Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-34058201058937132392015-01-25T20:59:00.000-08:002015-01-25T21:02:26.106-08:00How I Was Made for Chasing Boys: A Fourth Grader's StoryIt was during the first half of the eighties. I just began puberty. Billy Idol was in, Madonna just started, and Sixteen Candles was in the making. I hadn't begun wearing any make-up but I knew I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be liked by everybody. But particularly by this one blond hair blue-eyed boy fictionally named Guido Scardapello.
Guido Scardapello was a trouble-maker, a bad boy. He just turned 11 in my fourth grade class but I saw him as a man. He was taller than all the other boys. He was cocky, obnoxious, but playful. I watched him all the time. I told my mother and friends all about Guido, Guido, Guido.
I met him in the third grade, but the hormones didn't start kicking in until a year later. During the winter around January, I kept looking at him when we lined up to go to the school buses at the end of the day. He was wearing a black ski mask. Earlier, I was inspired by a jersey he wore. On the front it said something about Disco being dead and Rock n' Roll being in. On the back of the shirt, it said "The Fly." So in addition, another reason I liked him was his charisma.
So going back to being in line, I kept staring at him while he was mouthing off about something and then caught me staring at him. He came up and hit me on the shoulder, "Hey, stop looking at me! You're UGLY!" I remember my face heating up and I nearly teared. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. He was cruel.
Well, eventually I got over it. I saw the boy every day. Miss Anzelone, my teacher always condescended him in front of the class. She'd get into one of her big lectures about pride. "Guido does not have any pride. So n' So does." It only turned me on. <b>A boy with no pride.
</b>
So one day either in the spring or fall we were outside at recess. Chase was the game. So it was either the boys chasing girls or girls chasing boys theme of that day. I was happy to hear that it was girls chasing the boys. We were on monkey bars and the boys would jump at us. I remember jumping down and running after any random boy.
Then I saw Guido. Suddenly I felt a rush--so good that I began to have so much energy. As I took my first steps towards Guido he began to run. I couldn't remember if he had a smile on his face, but boy, I was feeling an unbelievable high. For the first time, it was a high so pleasurable that I didn't want it to end.
I claimed, and owned the feeling. And I ran after him as if he were my territory. He was the prize. And I would feel like on top if I ever caught him. I couldn't remember if I tagged or grabbed him that day in 1983, but it was a foreshadowing event that had set my calling for the rest of my life.
<b>Chasing boys was fun.</b> Chasing boys made me high. Boys chased me, who cared? That was boring. I wanted to be the pursuer, the chaser, the hunter. He could keep playing hard to get, but with my special skills, one day, I will get him to surrender. Well, that's all for now. Coming from a woman of the 21st century. The days of only men chasing women in my book are long gone...Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-31287341750970467552012-05-18T21:55:00.001-07:002012-05-18T21:55:17.587-07:00Red Elephant Cafe Studio.: Artist/Author Nona Sebastian<a href="http://redelephantcafe.blogspot.com/p/artistauthor-nona-sebastian.html?spref=bl">Red Elephant Cafe Studio.: Artist/Author Nona Sebastian</a>: About the Artist Past Since I was very young, art has been a natural talent for me and has provided a way for me to express myse...Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-29780667519416829342011-12-23T22:50:00.000-08:002011-12-23T22:56:04.570-08:00COMING SOON! A NEW BLOG CALLED "CLUB 39"There will be a series of tales where I will look back to my youth since I am surrounded by no one my age.Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-47704238170328567652011-01-23T00:01:00.000-08:002011-01-23T00:01:56.107-08:00Nona Sebastian: Nona Sebastian: Wanna Know What Winter Solstice Lo...<a href="http://nonasebastianauthor.blogspot.com/2011/01/nona-sebastian-wanna-know-what-winter.html?spref=bl">Nona Sebastian: Nona Sebastian: Wanna Know What Winter Solstice Lo...</a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-8025152628303546062011-01-23T00:00:00.000-08:002011-01-23T00:01:20.556-08:00Nona Sebastian: Wanna Know What Winter Solstice Looks Like in Sili...<a href="http://nonasebastian.wordpress.com"></a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-61226347303426185102011-01-22T23:58:00.000-08:002011-01-23T00:00:13.932-08:00Wanna Know What Winter Solstice Looks Like in Silicon Valley, CA?<a href="http://nonasebastian.wordpress.com"></a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-18544430345965166402010-11-28T14:29:00.000-08:002010-11-28T14:38:10.035-08:00Have You Shopped for the Holidays Yet?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkahFgNufBuo2sV1YYTeTIVu_HOhTrGC-I-WVJFcfFRHEqjKps38ENi-0DH71bJwix4x-oCaSeAYAIrUz-fi-8hQn3ufdH2zDaDg-Kikwuf8e5diJXmTWRf0-BDAvZBN0uV-vri07Ao34/s1600/Holidays.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 120px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkahFgNufBuo2sV1YYTeTIVu_HOhTrGC-I-WVJFcfFRHEqjKps38ENi-0DH71bJwix4x-oCaSeAYAIrUz-fi-8hQn3ufdH2zDaDg-Kikwuf8e5diJXmTWRf0-BDAvZBN0uV-vri07Ao34/s200/Holidays.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544731802348854322" /></a><br />If not, forget the malls, stores, or buying any other junk for yourself that eliminates space in your house! (Ever watch Hoarders? Scary stuff).<br />Have you noticed (when you're an adult with adult friends) that no one knows what they want for Christmas? Or volunteer to share with you what they want? Unless you love technology, who needs things anymore? We're still in a recession. The most important needs these days for people are a stable job and good health care. A gift so unreachable to some.<br />The gifts that people will always need are right in front of your nose.<br />A gift everyone wants, and will use no matter what.<br />Food! And Americans love food.<br />Now that we've got the solution figured out, here's what you do; I will share a Christmas list of my own as an example:<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Nona's Wish List</span><br /><br />Starbucks Gift Certificate<br /><br />Whole Foods Gift Certificate<br /><br />iTunes Gift Certificate<br /><br />Gift Certificate to Williams Sonoma<br /><br />Gift Certificate to any restaurant that they love.Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-29770522369565965932010-09-06T17:45:00.000-07:002010-09-06T17:51:32.019-07:00CLIMATE OBSTACLE FOR WRITERS: ONGOING SUNSHINE!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCJxBH7byw874tsXsRVcWtIHHWx2jZAlu2GoDJcumZl-BskQFHvSOITiMU1PBdj661D6cVguLsJI5Y2QIyqdNkqRMxt3zFTk62wL_vcgaEMg8MytEtifVWNMq26xNh_nKa3ClQdDCkxPQ/s1600/climate_blog1_web.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 196px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCJxBH7byw874tsXsRVcWtIHHWx2jZAlu2GoDJcumZl-BskQFHvSOITiMU1PBdj661D6cVguLsJI5Y2QIyqdNkqRMxt3zFTk62wL_vcgaEMg8MytEtifVWNMq26xNh_nKa3ClQdDCkxPQ/s200/climate_blog1_web.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513966774921841538" /></a><br /><br />I love summer. Summer means heat, sticky humidity, or dry desert heat. People go to festivals, fairs, outdoor concerts, beaches, and let’s not forget sunbathing and swimming. Ah—the fundamental activity that defines summer is to put on the suit and take in the sunshine, hear the kids splashing and screaming, and watch the partying adults drinking cocktails after beach volleyball. <br /><br />This is all fine and dandy for those not committed to the multiple tasks of being a serious writer. Especially in sunny California. Yes, you have almost guaranteed sunshine during the months of summer. No day for rain. And definitely no thunderstorms. (What is a thunderstorm?) Although the morning may be overcast due to the Marine layer, the clouds will burn off by noon. (Please note that living on the coast of Northern California will bring you more overcast than the valleys.)<br /><br />I get up and see that it’s cloudy. Great! Must go out and walk before the burning sun makes its appearance. Where I live, people prefer shade. In the central and southern part of California, the sun is hella strong. People wear big sun hats, ultra sport hats, or big visors to protect their skin. And the sun is bright, hot, and lends a Technicolor light to all it shines upon. As a young girl growing up in New York State the summer air was uncomfortable. The East Coast humidity can irritate anyone. There was summer sun, but it was a hazy sun that never gave a clear pure light. Eventually that hazy sun cooked the clouds and BOOM ! A thunderstorm is born. The benefits for artists, musicians, writers and the like, is that you will get overcast days or a day of rain from time to time. Ah--the perfect weather to stay indoors and do those creative, indoor projects. <br /><br />Out here in Silicon Valley, there is no such weather break.<br /><br />Working on my laptop near a window can be counterproductive. I see the perfect and pristine blue sky. The pointy cypress trees are vivid against those golden grassy hills. The air is perfect and comfortable. Never too hot; never ever humid. “Oh God, why am I not riding my bike? It’s so beautiful and perfect!” <br /><br />It’s the climate everyone everywhere would kill for. <br /><br />What they don’t realize is that this beautiful, vivid, Land of Oz-like weather hinders productivity. You don’t want to do research. You don’t feel like writing blogs. Adding friends to increase your marketing base becomes more annoying than usual. And focusing on your pretend world in your story becomes a challenge. So getting back to that sunshiny window, I brainstormed some tips to battle such an obstacle.<br /><br />And I came up with one. DO NOT WORK NEAR A WINDOW. I don’t know about everyone else, but it depresses me. It’s telling me that life is passing me by. <br /><br />Solution? Work in an interior room with NO windows. I picture the rooms in the basement of corporate buildings or hotels that provide air-conditioning and solace. Go to the library and work AWAY from the window. After a while, you’ll forget how beautiful and sunny it is out there; because—I’ll throw in a cliché--out-of-sight, out-of-mind really does work. You could find a coffeehouse that might have a back room, or a window-less upstairs. You need to go to a place where you can’t tell night from day. Some coffeehouses provide that artistic-creative atmosphere that’ll fuel the productivity function in your brain. And sometimes that lounge-style jazz music provides assistance. Just don’t drink too much coffee--it’ll turn you into a shaky wreck refusing to sit down.<br />The constant sun won’t last forever, but it’ll take until November before those gloomy, overcast, rainy days reappear. All I can say for now is to use that survival skill I suggested. You may feel depressed or guilty at first, but the more you spend time away from the happy sunshiny day, the better your production will be. Now close those blinds and get back to work.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIYZp6kUG8cW8FhM4I74uITzlncYXBp3LXHVL7PBwRcMHPU1VrZ3QDsPcYUxXOkfA4mttOfzM-DFCTkh-2ppCiobD348X1bSdxi2SvWCwzwH7j-c03CqVM2rTIUlQp2rrkbyI08G-D3EI/s1600/climate_blog2_web.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 156px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIYZp6kUG8cW8FhM4I74uITzlncYXBp3LXHVL7PBwRcMHPU1VrZ3QDsPcYUxXOkfA4mttOfzM-DFCTkh-2ppCiobD348X1bSdxi2SvWCwzwH7j-c03CqVM2rTIUlQp2rrkbyI08G-D3EI/s200/climate_blog2_web.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513966997293117890" /></a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-86104123178632769062010-08-07T10:26:00.000-07:002010-08-07T10:35:49.084-07:00EDITING TIPS FOR ASPIRING AUTHORSI learned the hard way. After I submitted my first novel to a publisher, I thought I was finished—really finished. I was already a professional writer. Didn’t need any more help. <br /><br />Boy I was wrong. I needed help in areas I didn’t even know about and the publisher let me know that. At the same time, I saw this as a gift; a gift of new knowledge. I wanted to have the power to fix my defective grammar—without relying on others and critique partners. So I enrolled in an online grammar refresher course and read additional educational materials on grammar. <br /><br />I wanted to share my knowledge with other aspiring writers. There is the creative aspect that drives writers to express their ideas, but it is so important to make sure that your writing conforms to the very complicated framework of English grammar. I believe learning to write never ends—it’s an ongoing journey. I’m sure there will still be things I’ve done wrong after I completed polishing up my grammar for my novel. <br /><br />To prevent, or lower the chances of getting bombarded by surprises after submitting your first baby to the publisher, I would like to share a few editing tips. Things you may not know needed correction or attention. You’ll be saving yourself a lot stress--before your work lands on the editor’s desk.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Don’t let body parts act</span> on their own. You’d think you’ve seen these written in other novels.<br /><br />Example: “His fingers raked his hair.” It sounds like his fingers are detached from his body. <br />The correct way is “He raked his fingers through his hair.” <br /><br />This I didn’t know about and I have written so many sentences with these wandering body parts. Keep going over this rule as you edit. I had to go over it many times until it was drilled in my head.<br /><br />Reference: http://deboradale.com/blog1/2009/01/28/she-tossed-her-head-as-his-eyes-roamed-her-body/<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Keep out details </span>that have nothing to do with the scene or story. It slows the pace. However, you can be creative and make those detailed statements having to do with a scene. <br /><br />For example, in my <span style="font-style:italic;">Living with the Ex</span> novel, Karina welcomes Naomi into the townhouse when she brings in her luggage. (Karina is Naomi’s ex’s sister. Karina and her ex live together in the townhouse.) Naomi notices Karina is wearing a Minnie Mouse T-shirt and has her hair up in braids. <br />I sat back rubbing my chin. I’m thinking the editor or reader is going to say, “Who cares if she’s wearing a Minnie Mouse T-shirt. How is that related to the story?” I could either eliminate this, or be really creative. Give a reason why the Minnie Mouse T-shirt should be in the story. <br />And I changed it to: <span style="font-style:italic;">Karina opened the door, wearing a big Minnie Mouse T-shirt. Her hair was in two braids pinned up over the crown of her head. She drew a warm smile, probably convincing Naomi that they were in Disneyland. Right … she wished. </span><br /><br />Now it has something more to do with the scene. Naomi’s nervous. She’s about to face her ex-boyfriend in the townhouse. Karina’s Minnie Mouse T-shirt and braids made her feel for a fleeting second that she was in Disneyland--where you’re happy and relaxed. It took her away from reality, knowing she had to face someone cold, someone who’d broken her heart, and someone who was furious about being in a reality TV show with her. Now if any of you were in Naomi’s situation, you’d probably rather be in Disneyland too!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Make sure your words are spelled</span> in either American or British English. I ran into a few words I’ve written in British English. Such as “towards.” Sometimes you see it spelled “towards” or “toward.” I’m glad I had caught this and googled “towards vs. toward.” I came upon a link that states “towards” was British English, and “toward” was American English. <br /><br />Reference: http://bluepencilediting.blogspot.com/2008/01/handy-hint-toward-vs-towards.html<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Keeping Author intrusion out </span>when you come upon these phrases:<br />“He noticed that Jack was nervous.” <br />Instead: “Jack faced him, eyes widened.”<br /><br />“She was shocked when seeing him with nothing on …” <br />Instead: “Omigod. He was in her room naked!”<br /><br />“He thought he was safe …” <br />Instead: “He was safe.” or “Safe at last.”<br /><br />“Ivo knew he had to tell her that he didn’t sleep with Bianca.” <br />Instead: “Naomi had to know he didn’t sleep with Bianca.” <br /><br />This is in Ivo’s POV. Doesn’t it make you feel more connected with the character’s POV and feelings?<br /><br />Take your time getting familiar with these tips. There’ll be more to come soon on my next blog.Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-63787373330449902362010-04-03T09:15:00.000-07:002010-04-03T09:20:12.649-07:00A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN AUTHOR: REASEARCHING GRANITE COUNTERTOP COMPANIES<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqc0bpX-Qu_rRf9lvS3JpdYf9YUYNfAgSeGXBx_RF6tTuCwUwQc_t3NAbyZFi4176E3m_wE9RKWubKubR1Mb7444E8rDZv2pfHW3i65njCEK3F8yrbrrdaSgv5AtU6e6muB9bKWdhK-Og/s1600/GRANITE.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqc0bpX-Qu_rRf9lvS3JpdYf9YUYNfAgSeGXBx_RF6tTuCwUwQc_t3NAbyZFi4176E3m_wE9RKWubKubR1Mb7444E8rDZv2pfHW3i65njCEK3F8yrbrrdaSgv5AtU6e6muB9bKWdhK-Og/s320/GRANITE.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5455946630695018770" /></a><br />Today was one of those days of embarrassment and isolation. I am writing about a hero in my book who is a granite countertop installer. He just received his contractor’s license and had opened up his new firm in a tiny office. Not sure if I had enough research done for what I had already written about him, I decided to talk to some employees in countertop companies in person. I was extremely nervous about this because I feared that I’d be too bothersome to the employees, and they would shoo me out of the store or office. <br /><br />I went into a huge home improvement store around 11:30am. I found someone at a desk in the countertop section. I asked him some of my questions I needed for my research. He referred me to a company that might be able to answer those questions. The company stores marble and granite slabs. They also do the carving, designing, and polishing of counter-tops. He gave me directions to this place and I left. <br /><br />I arrived five minutes later at the office building. The parking lot was tiny. I had to be super careful pulling up my car between a huge van and a stand supporting two marble slabs for street display. <br /><br />I wrote down all my questions in a notebook in order to ask one of the workers. When I went inside, my impression of it being a tiny office from the outside was dead wrong. I stepped into a huge foyer that looked like an art gallery. Decorative finished countertops of granite and limestone hung on walls like paintings. I heard my feet echo from the high ceiling. <br /><br />A hallway in the back led to another big room stored with unpolished and unfinished slabs piled high on shelves, or standing for display. I was impressed and curious about the industry. I knew nothing about it. In fact, the older I get, the more I find out that I don’t know much of anything. Here was my chance to learn about something. I immediately thought of my hero in the book as I was entering “his world.” <br /><br />A doorway led outside from the side building. More slabs leaned on the fence for display. The path continued around the back of the building. I heard what sounded like sawing and drilling coming from an additional section of the building with a metal exterior. I headed back towards the doorway and a woman who looked a few years older than me came outside holding a clipboard. Good, she must work here. And she gave me eye contact. Good sign. <br /><br />“Hi, do you work here?” I asked. <br /><br />She gave me a little smile. “Yes,” <br /><br />Going great so far. I briefly told her I needed to ask some questions about the granite countertop business, stuttering about three times. “I am writing a fiction novel about a guy who cuts granite countertops.” <br /><br />The woman’s face changed and her smile faded. “Well, I don’t think I can answer any of those questions. The only person here that would know this would be the manager, and he’s busy with a customer right now.” <br /><br />Well, I couldn’t ask the manager so I prodded to ask her some questions I felt she could answer. I mean, if she worked here, she had to know something. “Well, maybe you can answer some of these,” I opened my notebook to the list of questions. “Do contractors order slabs here?” <br /><br />“Yes.” <br /><br />“How are slabs carved?” <br /><br />“They use a giant tile cutter and then an edging machine. The installation takes place on-site.” <br /><br />I asked her to elaborate what she meant “on-site”. <br /><br />“They go to the client’s place and do it outside.” <br /><br />“That drilling I hear,” I said. “What are they doing?” <br /><br />“They drill holes for faucets,” she listed more but my writing couldn’t keep up with the information. It seemed she answered about half of the questions. <br /><br />“Look, that’s all I know. I’ve been only working here for three weeks,” she continued waving her hand to add emphasis. Okay, she was irritated. And it made me feel bad and embarrassed. She walked away to attend to a customer. <br /><br />As I headed inside, I passed a tall middle-aged man with a hammer hanging from his belt talking to a couple. By listening to the conversation, I quickly made out that this slender man with brown curls was the manager, and the couple was a customer. <br /><br />After the couple left, the manager approached me. “Can I help you?” <br /><br />Great! He appeared friendly and eager. But wait until I had told him what I was here for! <br /><br />He held his hand out and I shook it. “Hi, I’m Nona.” Being anxious, I dove right in. “I’m here because I’m doing some research on granite countertop businesses because I’m writing a book about a hero who-”<br /><br />He held up his hand and turned to head inside. <br /><br />Huh? Okay. Did he just run away from me? Or did that hand signal mean “wait”? Maybe there was someone inside that called his name. I didn’t hear anyone call his name. Maybe he ran inside to tell someone about the weird chick outside who wanted to interview him because her fictional hero cuts countertops … <br /><br />It took a while until the heat surged through my system. I was too impatient. I was ruthless. I was pissing these people off! Was this guy going to come back? I waited, feeling numb. <br /><br />A few seconds later, he came outside to meet me. He spoke rapidly, “You have to call and make an appointment for that. We are really busy here and we don’t have the time—there are business cards in the front and go pick one up.” <br /><br />He walked off. My legs felt they were disconnected from my body because I was paralyzed in humiliation. They moved to the lobby while my upper body wasn’t ready to go. I passed the woman I spoke with earlier. She was coming my way. <br /><br />She spoke, but I could tell it was to someone else. <br /><br />A dreadful feeling of isolation and rejection overcame me. I made a mistake. She must hate me. She was probably thinking, “Ugh, there she is again!” <br /><br />I exited the office and went to my car. I got in and started the engine. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t drive and I felt like complete shit. I tried to research a subject for my book so I wouldn’t wind up writing something incorrect or politically incorrect about it. What if someone in the industry read it, got mad, and sued me because my story mentioned radon? <br /><br />I was once again left in the unknown. I would never call this company and would never speak to this manager at all! I would just have to find another company to research. I hate research. There must be a better way to do this rather than going up to strangers to ask them about their profession. Their purpose and goal was to do business, not answer questions from some silly author. If only I knew someone who had a friend or relative in the granite countertop business …Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-7743790708584412752010-02-06T19:50:00.000-08:002010-02-06T19:57:15.450-08:00Nona's THOUGHT OF THE WEEK Valentine's Day Special<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi6L5FNry9nIgbdKYoODIwiu9iXv0hC8NFsRWUsgOIiQIJJT4QSr0iitgfkQd1du0uzBXrKQQmY9gLOsChFYSqBLAI1Ltndgxz-fuViDAfZi7BZhO_4osvmN9PH9gXwWLaJ2YsHVqjcu8/s1600-h/THE_ONE.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 246px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi6L5FNry9nIgbdKYoODIwiu9iXv0hC8NFsRWUsgOIiQIJJT4QSr0iitgfkQd1du0uzBXrKQQmY9gLOsChFYSqBLAI1Ltndgxz-fuViDAfZi7BZhO_4osvmN9PH9gXwWLaJ2YsHVqjcu8/s320/THE_ONE.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435345070207070482" /></a><br />As Valentine's Day creeps up and it's only a week away, it's not a good time for some of us single gals. So I came up with a philosophy to remind the single ladies that they are okay after they read my latest thought:Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-42170036312209246742010-01-17T18:19:00.000-08:002010-01-17T18:22:14.467-08:00PEOPLE ARE BOUND TO LABEL ME WEIRD NO MATTER WHAT PART 2In the adult world, your peers are far more polite. This became clear to me when I moved to California. There was no blunt, in your face, obnoxious comments from people spitting out what was on their mind. Oh, but someone will always say something else to someone about me. That I was weird. I admit I am weird in some way that can be good, unique, standing out and creating something creative that can make a difference in the art or music world. (My inspiration was to be a rock star, not a nurse or accountant) But then there’s the “bad weird”. Not the crazy, mental patient or druggie weird, but the weird that’ll never get me married with a normal, quiet man who’d provide my future with a nice normal house and two kids. At parties, bars or any other social scene that didn’t consist of the singles’ mixers, I’d find some normal people to try and talk to. I wouldn’t have to worry about them flipping out as I could grow closer to them. They wouldn’t embarrass me or themselves and I could live in a comfortable quiet environment. And people, who’ll see me, won’t label me weird because my friends weren’t weird. So what happens when I try to get their attention? No connection. Either they couldn’t or wouldn’t connect with me. And who were they? People who blended in the background. Untouchable from controversy or risking their “blending in the background persona” to act a little out of the ordinary. Jocks who like to go to sports bars and go scuba diving. No one was moving their head or eyes in an out of the ordinary fashion. I’d be hurt, and then angry. I mean who did they think they were?<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">I admit I am weird in some way that can be good. But then there’s the “bad weird”.</span></span><br /><br />I still struggle with this even today. I mean, you’re probably thinking, why is this thirty-something woman agonizing over something so teeny-boopish? The reason is, that your inner teeny booper, “want to be part of the crowd”, “to be accepted” stays within you. It can crush your soul and can force you to perceive the world as a place where no one will ever understand you. Many of us still yearn to be wanted and accepted. That led me to find friends who turned out to be anything BUT friends. Even the friends who had appreciated my weirdness. You always have to be careful with the people you befriend when the normal ones won't hang out with you because your weirdness overwhelms them. They have some emotional and psychological issues themselves. It's a dilemma that I am presently struggling to master. I'm sure some of you out there know what I'm talking about.<br /><br />I also live in an area where creativity is not the trend. I need to reside in a world of entertainment like Los Angeles. Weird people there are more appreciated. I feel I can be myself when I'm down there. I know this sounds ironic to some folks. Many people in the San Francisco Bay Area diss L.A. which brings me to make a final conclusion: You diss L.A. because most of you are not creative!Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-12471124510870108262010-01-12T12:21:00.000-08:002010-01-12T12:37:34.337-08:00SOMEONE IS BOUND TO LABEL ME WEIRD NO MATTER WHAT<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6k78JhaQ_GKj4hHQJfr4ULxXCrVShUwqbTBenvwOZVJLccVwT2tc-hq3C9UKeZcnn2tzGBYQ3Lluqrl1zKg7xzspHy2HDQFvbiUjZRLOefSV2bknaTJkRIZqL-RunNvundMrA6_sUDMM/s1600-h/weird.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 297px; height: 243px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6k78JhaQ_GKj4hHQJfr4ULxXCrVShUwqbTBenvwOZVJLccVwT2tc-hq3C9UKeZcnn2tzGBYQ3Lluqrl1zKg7xzspHy2HDQFvbiUjZRLOefSV2bknaTJkRIZqL-RunNvundMrA6_sUDMM/s320/weird.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425954521994529346" /></a><br />Halloween is my favorite holiday because I can be weird!<br /><br />Sure I’m a healthy girl. But I have an affliction. An affliction you have never heard of. An affliction so chronic, I can’t seem get rid of it. There is no cure for it. No one is running marathons to raise awareness and find a cure for it either. You are born with it and it’ll stay with you until the day you die. My affliction is WEIRD.<br /><br />I used to sit by some very “untouchable” girls in junior high lunch period. What I mean by untouchable was that they were neither popular, weird, burnout, geeky, or slutty. No one picked on them. They looked average-- the girls next door who kept out of the spotlight. I thought I was safe sitting with them. But eventually one of them would blurt out to me or someone else that I was weird. Like this other quiet girl I sat with at the cafeteria in ninth grade. She kept out of the spotlight and hung out with friends who weren’t picked on but not the talk of the girl’s room either. I thought if I sat like her, acted like her, even mimicked her faces, my weirdness would become extinct. One day we sat quietly while “Lauren” was writing a letter to her other unnoticeable, noncontroversial best friend. I couldn’t help but peek at the words as she was expressing how she hated lunchtime. She said she wanted to die. I kind of felt bad that she was feeling such pain. Why didn’t she share that with me? The next words she wrote answered that question. “And Nona, she is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo totally weird.” The “o”’s filled the whole one line of the loose leaf paper. It ripped my heart out. It signified her having a strong emotion and opinion about me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">She said, “I had never met a person ever in my life that was anything like you.”</span><br /><br /><br />Weird? How was I weird? Here I’m working my ass off trying not to be weird. I followed the crowd, from wearing rock shirts and stone washed jeans (this was the ‘80s), writing rock groups on my three ring binders, even buying the in-style sunglasses. It was a 24 hour job. Always on the alert. Stress! My eyes and ears were working overtime. My brain was doing double power. But someone seemed to notice something in me that wasn’t like everyone else. It pained me and sometimes I just wanted to give up. I wanted to be that girl no one could make fun of. That no one bullied if I had blurted a socially inept remark, not on purpose. I wanted to feel safe and comfortable and racked my brain to figure out ways to do it. And then eventually I threw the towel in. In college it was a different world. There was still immaturity but the cliques were vague and people focused on other things more important than picking a person to make fun of, or calling them weird. Like hooking up. Except for this one time. I was living next door to someone in the dorm who had made a comment about me to my face which was so profound. She was from Massapequa, Long Island and she was blunt. Her comment wasn’t negative nor positive, but potentially factual. She said, “I had never met a person ever in my life that was anything like you.”<br /><br />(Part 2 coming next week)Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-30043346742869104782009-12-20T20:54:00.000-08:002009-12-20T21:41:47.748-08:00GRAPEFRUIT GRIPESWith the angst of the economy, Afghanistan and all the social injustice that surrounds us, if you’re not in the mood to hear about trivial petty problems, do not read any further. Yes, I am going to write about something so petty that some readers won’t be able to stand it. But for those of you in the mood to read about mundane tasks, this one’s for you. I am going to talk about cutting grapefruit. I don’t like to cut grapefruit or any fruit. It’s an inconvenience. I dread it. Hence, this frustration could have an impact on my eating habits of fruit vs. bad sinful cookies for dessert. Does this make me sound lazy? Sure. I won’t deny that. Fruit is good for you, especially a grapefruit at breakfast time, which I will mostly focus on for this blog. I love to be in a cafeteria and collect already precut grapefruit with a maraschino cherry on top. Mmmm! But when I wake up, alone in my apartment, that lone grapefruit in my fridge sitting for days calls to me, feeding into my guilt. If I only had to cut the grapefruit in half, hey, no problem. But this is a fruit that needs elaborate cutting . Cutting it in half in my teeny weenie kitchen, I experience the first aggravation as juice spills out onto the counter. The next step, cutting around the outer edge of the pulp. In order to spoon the wedges, you must cut around each triangle of pulp. This is the nastiest part. I am no fan of handling sharp knives. I had to cut a persimmon once and had an accident. It’s real dangerous holding those little pieces that the knife slit across my finger. Right then, I vowed that I would do whatever it takes to find someone to cut my fruit for me. If I never had to cut fruit again, I’d be eating it five times as much as I do now. Not all grocery stores have pre-cut grapefruit and if so, it costs more money. The labor of cutting makes a difference. After my knife accident with the persimmon I said to myself, “If I ever get rich, I will hire a maid to cut all my fruit. Especially grapefruit. And I always want that jolly rewarding maraschino cherry on top!” For the time being, let Mommy do it!Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-5764936311412311632009-12-13T19:07:00.000-08:002009-12-13T21:01:44.155-08:00FALLING LEAVES IN DECEMBER<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZMLlgas9k6O9vtUFnNRpt2ePi_wqTbWAKxwmaQm0oTnugcmjpfPL_MydIbGtJWlBp-aCD0DP6gS4ZG-bD-C1ykeP9wj4KcoewUG3EuJbA2oVZnUlcihah5wXF5vRZALBikTmAqzQ49VU/s1600-h/december_leaves.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZMLlgas9k6O9vtUFnNRpt2ePi_wqTbWAKxwmaQm0oTnugcmjpfPL_MydIbGtJWlBp-aCD0DP6gS4ZG-bD-C1ykeP9wj4KcoewUG3EuJbA2oVZnUlcihah5wXF5vRZALBikTmAqzQ49VU/s320/december_leaves.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5414928886363459922" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/ELISEH%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-2.png" alt="" /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">Photo taken Dec. 1, Richmond, California</span><br /><br /></div><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">This photo reminds me of the times when I used to go trick or treating. I would kick up all the leaves that had fallen on the ground just like you see in this picture. Most of the leaves make it to the ground by the end of October. In the Northeast, that is. However, in the San Francisco Bay Area it is a different story. Aside from its other unique features such as micro-climates and geeks galore, is its unique fall season. We are not exactly like Southern California where the trees stay green all year round. In Northern California not all the deciduous trees bare during the winter like they do in the Northeastern United States. The Bay Area, in addition to other parts of central and northern California has half and half. Half of the leaves stay on the trees (such as citrus) and the other half change. They don't really turn color until the month of November. And by December, half of the leaves are on the ground. It's December 13th and colored leaves are still hanging on the trees, but are falling every minute. I know that because some of them like to creep into my apartment through the door, especially on rainy days making my entryway all messy. Of course, people living in the real cold states reading this would like to wring my neck. I can feel for them since I grew up in such harsh winter conditions in New York. Now that I look at our long late California autumn, I no longer get a weird feeling about it. I was so intrigued by it in the past because California winter is really like a very long autumn. After 12 years living in California it's a scene like any other season that becomes normal to my eyes. It no longer phases me. I adjusted to it as the norm. I have reached that stage when seeing palm trees also. It took a long time, but now, the sight of them is normal to me. When I visit family in New York, it feels weird when I don't see palm trees. It's definitely a habitat thing. I'd like to know how all of you from the North would feel seeing a late autumn? Or green leaves remaining on the trees all through January?</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/ELISEH%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.png" alt="" />Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-24155491789764490902009-12-07T15:32:00.001-08:002009-12-07T15:32:43.807-08:00MYSPACE BACKGROUNDS GONE WILD! | ItsNona on Xanga<a href=http://itsnona.xanga.com/717866164/myspace-backgrounds-gone-wild/>MYSPACE BACKGROUNDS GONE WILD! | ItsNona on Xanga</a><br /><br />Posted using <a href="http://sharethis.com">ShareThis</a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-66594030215663819862009-11-29T19:52:00.000-08:002009-11-29T20:52:09.370-08:00FROM MALE STRIPPERS TO BALKANS - HOW I BECAME A WRITER PART 3<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZobsApABMCAlV-xLnlgmr1kxKiNDS8ImjzhwXg4nNSrI2bNa6cQPKooxBPe98csAF54nCHI8KIGSorkFooiJk0CMidEtCio0SHVfeQ7-mhoSk1h2ZLhKmadp89k1HAfJlQ4qY5mDaTw/s1600/bare_asset_bw.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZobsApABMCAlV-xLnlgmr1kxKiNDS8ImjzhwXg4nNSrI2bNa6cQPKooxBPe98csAF54nCHI8KIGSorkFooiJk0CMidEtCio0SHVfeQ7-mhoSk1h2ZLhKmadp89k1HAfJlQ4qY5mDaTw/s320/bare_asset_bw.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5409740124956974018" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">When I graduated from my four year college in 1996, I was getting over my ex-boyfriend and the crush on a guy I had in class hadn't showed interest in me. So what was I to do over the summer?</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"> I wrote my first romance novel. It was about a young landscaper working hard, barely making ends meet who finally gives in to become a male stripper. He forms a close relationship with one of his old classmates. But she is outraged when she finds out her ex-best friend working at a male strip club recruits him. I had painted the book cover, did another painting on the back. I went to the office store to buy plastic binders in a set holding 50 pages and binding about eight copies to give to my family and friends. The title was "Bare Asset". I was 23 years old. Following that year I moved to California, one of my dreams that came true. Although not the city, since I wanted to be in Southern California in Hollywood but winded up in Silicon Valley. I had written three short erotica stories into 1998. I got interested in sex positive feminism. I read books on feminism and the sex industry could collaborate together as a team, or as oppose creating great schism between the women activists. I joined a young feminist leadership club that met in Palo Alto, but none of them were that into learning about feminism within the adult entertainment industry. I stopped writing and wasn't sure what I wanted to do next. So I fell into a depression. I had insomnia for three months due to the moving away from my roots in New York had finally caught up with me. I didn't have many friends because it was hard to meet people. I didn't go to college in California. But slowly joining groups I developed some friendships. I began dating again and had put off writing to try to hunt for a better job in a bigger company. No success at that so I was in a career pit. Until one day right before 9/11 something significant happened that eventually put my writing career back on track. And in full force.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"><br />I won't say who or how but I formed my latest hero prototype that many wouldn't find in romance novels. Croatian and Bosnian men. They were all over. I met them at the church, in bars, and in restaurants. They had handsome DNA. They were flirtatious. They were confident and comfortable with themselves and they all wore nice clothes. They were tall, masculine, had distinct face shapes, mixed with dark Mediterranean features. And some knew how to be very romantic. The downside was that their views on men and women's roles were still traditional. Which presented a challenge to my feminism. But since I hadn't wound up in a serious relationship or marriage with any of them, it helped to keep painting my romantic fantasies. They were family men, chivalrous and wanted to take care of their ladies. So my second novel was about a Croatian falling in love with an American woman. But he had a secret. He worked for the Russian mob - involved in gas bootlegging scams. The title I came up with wasn't too appealing to many, but it was hard for me to come up with anything else. "Bad Fuel". Fuel, associated with the gas scams. Again, I made a cartoon drawing and reproduced it as a poster.</span><br /><a style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIsyHAxg_Q9pJmgMTrE3_TZGFPvPMNJrpcRR_cVTMisI0ihukx1fc2UBWPp79SuVFVeRGoMJX9HnwFon_hxv1woJNatXESePYd5bxp4qc1J1yAVScXE_OhrjRHc0LkN4CQ_5kn97oKwi8/s1600/finalcov.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 230px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIsyHAxg_Q9pJmgMTrE3_TZGFPvPMNJrpcRR_cVTMisI0ihukx1fc2UBWPp79SuVFVeRGoMJX9HnwFon_hxv1woJNatXESePYd5bxp4qc1J1yAVScXE_OhrjRHc0LkN4CQ_5kn97oKwi8/s320/finalcov.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5409745402324598562" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR99DmDwWn51OmQWIt-Gprc8g6REQkYEyxCo8kGaKqw9Q8Tp0A2EUjZpIgc2yM2kpwnn8TIAcG71XRmsnc4LPzQ3TMKvPmjmKHk6mY4gKIGA-KI4nB0AhMOyBolj3R2nDWkadrdJfKISI/s1600/badfuelpaperdolls.jpg"> <img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 230px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR99DmDwWn51OmQWIt-Gprc8g6REQkYEyxCo8kGaKqw9Q8Tp0A2EUjZpIgc2yM2kpwnn8TIAcG71XRmsnc4LPzQ3TMKvPmjmKHk6mY4gKIGA-KI4nB0AhMOyBolj3R2nDWkadrdJfKISI/s320/badfuelpaperdolls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5409746420788554386" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">I fell in love with my characters and fantasized a lot about what they wore. Even my supporting characters. So after completing my first draft, I created paper dolls of them (above).</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">The next year I aggressively bought the Writers Market book because I finally wanted to get something published. I thought my writing was more suitable for "Bad Fuel" than "Bare Asset". And then I ran across an organization called Romance Writers of America. I attended their Silicon Valley chapter meeting. I joined right away without thinking it through from sitting at the meeting. The next monthly meeting, people submitted their first three pages of their novel to be read aloud. When mine was read, I was a boiling with sweat. And the criticisms flew through the roof. For a whole year, I realized I knew nothing about writing a romance novel. I sat through workshops learning about goal, motivation, conflict. They must have happy endings. If the hero is a bad boy, show that he is really good inside. I attended the RWA conference held in Reno in 2005. In one query workshop, the editor at a publishing company I won't mention, read everyone's query letter out loud. She was blunt and would make fun of some she didn't like. When mine came up, she ripped it to pieces, while tears were running down my cheeks like wild fire. And the "Bad Fuel" title had got to go as she had concluded. I worked another year on improving it, but no such luck as I received low scores from entering in contests. When I became involved in another close relationship, the passion in making the story better fizzled out. I had no other ideas for another book as some members advised me to think about. I was once again, falling into another pit. Not to mention my boyfriend was emotionally abusive towards me with his absurd jokes. Here's a picture of me at an 80's party, about seven months before beginning to write "Living With the Ex". Happy but torn inside. </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhit7xStDmFeETiAEMu1V3elOgNYv9xat-1xmWQACSNGmqMolzx5P6e0yweNwBtA17h4Qk5f_SqY5fNmrVbnngPYzUPDxYC8ESz4lXhxyRNStw9ygNOhEVxXWeltvM0mKrUVXZzRGypQYA/s1600/80sparty.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 148px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhit7xStDmFeETiAEMu1V3elOgNYv9xat-1xmWQACSNGmqMolzx5P6e0yweNwBtA17h4Qk5f_SqY5fNmrVbnngPYzUPDxYC8ESz4lXhxyRNStw9ygNOhEVxXWeltvM0mKrUVXZzRGypQYA/s320/80sparty.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5409749170576792946" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">When I finally broke up with my boyfriend the next year I thought a part of me was lost. I watched all my peers getting hooked up and married while I remained cynical about dating in my mid-thirties. I lost hope in ever finding a decent guy again. So I reverted back to my fantasy guy. Another story had been brewing in my head for the past year and it finally came out on paper or should I say Word. Summer of 2007; In the middle of my sorrows on relationships and a series of friendships gone wrong, I started my next novel that will be "THE ONE". It involved a sexy Bosnian player who made up a story to break up with a feisty chick from Brooklyn.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">Two years later, she got her revenge by moving into his townhouse for a new reality show "Living With the Ex".</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">And 2010 will be the year when it all unfolds.</span>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-77228176765233307852009-11-22T22:54:00.001-08:002009-11-22T22:55:24.650-08:00Nona's THOUGHT OF THE WEEK<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9B1v_o-Ci3r9KBP4AA8yLvq2kP5E2WjT07vrdqlUPbCwQcpXqSSNQKbawQ94ZQkT0iiNMTRejwX3MuIXYpU-1aPC_UQs2h6IciH0xMAEpachp5e3ZJtBmVsmsGY8SqpTwNyXOngFgRk/s1600/cupcake.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 314px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9B1v_o-Ci3r9KBP4AA8yLvq2kP5E2WjT07vrdqlUPbCwQcpXqSSNQKbawQ94ZQkT0iiNMTRejwX3MuIXYpU-1aPC_UQs2h6IciH0xMAEpachp5e3ZJtBmVsmsGY8SqpTwNyXOngFgRk/s400/cupcake.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5407188966050738978" border="0" /></a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-5172305366788333712009-11-13T12:52:00.001-08:002009-11-13T16:52:26.133-08:00How I Became a Writer Part 2<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">YES! I GOT PICTURES!</span></span><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPmfbNya85Tq_gv_v6pu_Bbyo-b_cCgXXoS1KfJ5fLWJP9srfzGTpulZiF2h9sXuSAwcHn82i46UJscnDg4XLOwvJxEhELz4neWDTJhHwQWoh74tSYycxzFKWfeOg_jnzg1Qg_gTbNgZ0/s1600-h/5_1990.jpg"><blockquote><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPmfbNya85Tq_gv_v6pu_Bbyo-b_cCgXXoS1KfJ5fLWJP9srfzGTpulZiF2h9sXuSAwcHn82i46UJscnDg4XLOwvJxEhELz4neWDTJhHwQWoh74tSYycxzFKWfeOg_jnzg1Qg_gTbNgZ0/s320/5_1990.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403744726459718386" border="0" /></blockquote></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">I'm so sorry I had made everyone wait for more than a month for the part 2 of <span style="font-style: italic;">How I Became a Writer</span>. I was so busy feeling my way around all these sites, learning the tricks and trades of adding friends to designing Myspace backgrounds.<br />So we left off around the summer of 1989 when I was sixteen years old. That was twenty years ago to be exact minus 40 pounds off my body then.<br />When I thought writing about my imaginary boyfriend "Brad" was exciting, I couldn't imagine my first real experience with my first love a month after without putting it down on paper! It was called "The Summer Dude". I never typed it, never saved it on a computer but I made one copy from my spiral notebook. It was when I had my first kiss and my parents didn't like him because he wouldn't take me out on a real date. The second boyfriend I had was six months later when starting to </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">write about how I met him, began dating him, etc. I never finished it, but here's me around the time after we broke up, but we we're</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinEC8fXZlEyhJFqxFztFIGUAMmAv5j75ETWRb_lYqg5unhyePAcMMGZ6uJcX4PMnRgVdbJheOm48tM5n3FmzNOiHDHPon2dTvvpRuJKJk57kmRTNeRVRZ7uMIUp8ucOpatRu6qokClG2o/s1600-h/high_school_grad_91.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinEC8fXZlEyhJFqxFztFIGUAMmAv5j75ETWRb_lYqg5unhyePAcMMGZ6uJcX4PMnRgVdbJheOm48tM5n3FmzNOiHDHPon2dTvvpRuJKJk57kmRTNeRVRZ7uMIUp8ucOpatRu6qokClG2o/s320/high_school_grad_91.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403746371862718754" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);"> seeing each other on and off.<br />It wasn't until the turn of 1991 when I snuck off to see him at his house on my bike</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">.</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);"> He already was out of high school and I was a senior. I wrote about the thrill of sneaking out to see him because he was kind of "bad". I had the TV Show Twin Peaks musical theme playing </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">in my mind. Later in the spring I jumped back into comics. I wrote about real kids I knew in high school who were a group that got picked on. They would leech onto someone more popular and depicted him as a leader. He was actually a punk skateboarder who turned reborn Christian. Imagine how funny that got! Never bothered to publish it because I used real names and would get sued.<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204); font-style: italic;"> <span style="font-size:85%;">High School Graduation, June 1991. Hopewell Jct., NY</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOAbyKO4vE7u32sWCSNqcda52pSCyKhBRaHU4yB9LLuZm5CfKU0XBPSONXD6guibNsZDwJC4_WGWKvDrVkgVyK980I-YkdAflnDtgkN6tQnQOGrOI3Rb604mc9HUF9aPWXm0pk2wW-3aA/s1600-h/11_1991.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 257px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOAbyKO4vE7u32sWCSNqcda52pSCyKhBRaHU4yB9LLuZm5CfKU0XBPSONXD6guibNsZDwJC4_WGWKvDrVkgVyK980I-YkdAflnDtgkN6tQnQOGrOI3Rb604mc9HUF9aPWXm0pk2wW-3aA/s320/11_1991.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403748966312557138" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(204, 255, 255);">My parents were so worried about me with boys. They didn't see nothing yet once I went away to college. When I began going out I was introduced to the term "hooking up." Everyone was using it! And everyone was doing it! And I was the "follow the in-crowd" type of girl. Not taking it to extremes like spoiled girls from Rockland County or Long Island doing multiple guys in one night. So my first semester I wrote about the two guys I had hooked up with. Again with a spiral notebook and never bothered to type or publish that one either. The next four years of college was a big time out for me on writing stories. But what I did do was the what is called today, "blogging". On a spiral notebook. I'd write about my political views on feminism, dating, and the unfairness of double standards between men and women. This was an area where I felt most passionate about. I thought then I would become an activist and wanted to advocate freedom of experession for women, expression of<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 255, 255);">all kinds.</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 255, 255);"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">Above: November 1991, in a bar in small college </span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">town Delhi, upstate New York Further Down: </span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">June 1994, Vahalla, NY. Notice beeper (pre-historic cell)Note: old pictures get scratchy!</span></span><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOKj_j2h9tXI_eAdSuDtvm20rWHUC9UtwM47P3_UuAyHGReizAg1Q9PCT_Q7gLO2kUrYNtmbcjsupAtsCynEW-sOgDowhgsqRAMajwg0GbOhzw2d50d1UkrJYemcZcB-IMDLzoIYQkwW8/s1600-h/6_1994.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 229px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOKj_j2h9tXI_eAdSuDtvm20rWHUC9UtwM47P3_UuAyHGReizAg1Q9PCT_Q7gLO2kUrYNtmbcjsupAtsCynEW-sOgDowhgsqRAMajwg0GbOhzw2d50d1UkrJYemcZcB-IMDLzoIYQkwW8/s320/6_1994.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403751077218711506" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 255, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">1995: College Senior</span><br />By the time my last boyfriend of my life in New York State left me burned out and broken-hearted I developed a crush on one of my classmates. Even though we never went out, his cute face and cocky behavior turned me on. Which lead to the next era in my writing life . . . coming next!</span>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-21076013240294344712009-11-08T17:07:00.000-08:002009-11-08T17:09:36.930-08:00Nona's THOUGHT OF THE WEEK<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX_PDxE99useeTMs3GtpAgczGiAZvvWQn8Gz4E4PqFrU4kPyqcIJmuUvXbJcJrbDefJ3XdoepfIjH6x7LLwW8GilMQUjJh9Rby0xY-7l_YNHXW_mR7sbvz1HLtMrACVOiFrOx21cEzUig/s1600-h/earplugs.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX_PDxE99useeTMs3GtpAgczGiAZvvWQn8Gz4E4PqFrU4kPyqcIJmuUvXbJcJrbDefJ3XdoepfIjH6x7LLwW8GilMQUjJh9Rby0xY-7l_YNHXW_mR7sbvz1HLtMrACVOiFrOx21cEzUig/s320/earplugs.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401904667267363634" border="0" /></a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-82458234255687293752009-10-22T07:12:00.001-07:002009-10-22T07:12:05.589-07:00RSVP For: 10/23 Release Party, Chat and Contest with Author Eva Gordon<a href=http://shar.es/1IndZ>RSVP For: 10/23 Release Party, Chat and Contest with Author Eva Gordon</a><br /><br />Posted using <a href="http://sharethis.com">ShareThis</a>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-4108690271533808722009-09-29T10:43:00.000-07:002009-09-29T11:24:35.374-07:00FROM BUNNY BOOKS TO REALITY TV - HOW I BECAME A WRITER<span style="font-family: verdana;">Okay, so you're wondering who is this Nona Sebastian? What's she about?<br />What's her book about?<br /><br />It's time I unfold a little of my background and how I became a writer. It all started with my gift of creativity that people discovered in me between <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pre</span>school and first grade with drawing bunny cartoons and repeatedly drawing candy canes on the blackboard. </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">With a learning disability in language and speech, it didn't stop me from creating </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">my first official book. A bunny book done in markers representing me and some of my classmates with a friendship matters theme. Followed by another bunny book, a love story between me and one of my classmates. In second grade, I technically published an 8 page story about an evil cat who captured a bird to cook in the oven. Her friend, the courageous mouse rescued her. He chopped the oven open with an ax- pretty realistic right? I made a few copies in what was back then, purple print.<br /><br />Reading comics around the age of eight inspired me to do about four editions on four composition books, done in pencil, pen and crayon. It consisted a collection of comics of my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">mischievous</span> toddler cousin and cleaning stinky houses. I even did a magazine and drawing the cleaning product and diet ads.<br /><br />Then when fourth grade rolled around, it was smurfs, smurfs and smurfs. My sister and I were intrigued with Hefty Smurf being romantic with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Smurfette</span>. I made up some stories on another blank composition book with more paragraphs and pictures done in crayon. They were teenagers in high school. Reading Beverley Cleary's Otis Spofford and Ellen Tebbits was an inspiration. I was drawn to reading about boys causing mischief in class and competition and fights between best friends.<br /><br />Becoming a tween, I got myself involved with pop music, thanks to the roller derby. Then getting into more genres like the 60's and heavy metal which took me away from writing a bit. It wasn't until being a full fledged teenager I began writing again. This time about significant days in my life that were special to me. One in particular was going to my first rock concert. Then my days of ninth grade in high school was about popularity and friendship, followed, a mini story about a guy I had a crush on and then another rock concert the year after. Then it was boys. At sixteen, I invented an imaginary boyfriend shortly before dating for the first time. He was a long haired metal dude named "Brad". So I figured, with all these imaginations of what our relationship would be like, hell write a story about it. This was when I wrote my first love scene, with a pen and spiral notebook on a hot summer day.<br /><br />By the way, I wasn't much of a reader. I think it stemmed from being chastised too much by teachers about my poor reading <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Comprehension</span> skills. I was only drawn to metal magazine articles about my favorite "hair bands" and the Sweet Valley Twins and Sweet Valley High series.<br /><br />Curious to hear about what's next? Stay tuned for my next blog - coming soon!<br /></span>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-44948277096938332932009-08-09T10:15:00.000-07:002009-08-09T10:17:18.914-07:00Join!Sign up to my blogspot now and you'll receive upcoming updates such as audio interviews with the author, a special interview with Ivo and Naomi, and much much more!Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7778758053393510429.post-56187441623000838612009-08-04T20:44:00.001-07:002009-08-14T20:26:03.679-07:00Naomi and Ivo Chilling on the Living With the Ex reality TV Show<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIjIzHGU6Ob5H69PSbQPqFLNuV0Cs2TLvUYZgYgGpCbFwU50dQoXN_xQZR7eTdTErrbpC0EsMm2PGeWCwYB-EWbR3xDmWBe7hBL_o916vjTbBJWqjhnKw4FJ6ZyfgTHynqSQL37Z2x1Rk/s1600-h/painting_b_w.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 179px; height: 188px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIjIzHGU6Ob5H69PSbQPqFLNuV0Cs2TLvUYZgYgGpCbFwU50dQoXN_xQZR7eTdTErrbpC0EsMm2PGeWCwYB-EWbR3xDmWBe7hBL_o916vjTbBJWqjhnKw4FJ6ZyfgTHynqSQL37Z2x1Rk/s400/painting_b_w.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366321042097359586" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Are they having fun or what?<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:78%;">artwork completed by Nona Sebastian </span></span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Nona Sebastianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13044893841232289926noreply@blogger.com0